Completely Schizo-ball

Well, Sheila and I made it out to Lester’s family farm in this blink of a town called Elk Horn, Iowa, but there was no one around, certainly no one who could tell us anything more. The front door was unlocked which is typical out here I suppose, and we walked in saying hello about three or four times, but the only thing we heard was a weird clanking from out back.

Ahh…memories

Those of us out there suffering through the excruciatingly torpid NBA Finals may want to re-visit the last moments from this classic ’77 Blazers-Sixers matchup.  Note how not one foul or timeout is called for a solid minute at the end of what was a very close game.

Yes Mr. Stern, it CAN be done.

Expert Surgery by Dr. John

PITTSBURGH—Sherman Wayman here, remember me? It’s been a century and a half, I know, but don’t think I’ve lost interest in this baseball season, even though my Dodger boys have been giving me conniption fits these days. I mean, c’mon, my dead Bubbie could’ve hit better than they have lately with a hot towel on both her ankles, and now I’ve taken Greyhounds all the way back here to Three Rivers just to watch Tommy John battle future Dodger Jerry Reuss for the afternoon rubber game in this gotten-to-be desperate three-game series.

It’s All About the 8-Track

Dr. Sheila sort of had a lead about where to find Lester. He grew up all over the midwest, but according to her notes he was the happiest on his dad’s farm outside of Elk Horn, Iowa.  So that would be our first far destination.

Lucky for us, the Dodge Coronet had an actual 8-track player mounted on the dash, and a box of 8-track cartridges the last owner had left in the trunk.

Unfortunately for Dr. Sheila, there were no Mozart ones.

“Deep Purple? How can you listen to this?”

“Because they’re better than Renaissance, that’s how.”

And on the 47th Day, He Rested

ERIE, PA—Funny how you learn things about people. Like Dr. Sheila having a dentist uncle named Sid Grossinger who lived in Erie, Pennsylvania in 1977. When she was a teenager she went out to visit him and her Aunt Flo a couple times, and remembered a cigar box on a shelf in the garage that he kept a spare money clip in.

Dr. Sheila wasn’t too keen on my idea of taking a bus to Erie from Cleveland, sneaking into the garage and “borrowing” the money, mainly because once she got back to the present there’d be no way to pay Sid back in the past, but what else could we do? We needed fundage to follow the rest of the baseball season, to keep tabs on poor Seamus until he got his senses back in the hospital, and to track down Lester and Fred and Sherman and Amy before they did something idiotic and messed up the future.

There Goes the Party

CLEVELAND—So here we are, standing in line for grandstand tickets against the Rangers, trying as usual to not tell local fans they’re about to see an awesome game, when there’s this weird flash and clap of thunder.

But the sky is sunny and clear.

Those Stats You Ordered

June has bloomed, and King Rodney still rules. Matter of fact, with Carew’s hitting streak up to 45 now, I’ll be doing live Tweetcasts of his at bats in every game until he gets a hit—or doesn’t. Tune in right here tonight at 10 p.m Eastern, 7 Pacific as he goes up against the Yanks’ Don Gullett.

AL LEADERS

OPS
1.168 Carew, MIN
1.050 Gamble, CHX
1.029 Thornton, CLE
1.010 Brett, KC
0.961 Harrah, TEX
0.960 Hargrove, TEX
0.958 Jackson, BYY
0.947 Hisle, MIN
0.926 Yaz, BOS

BATTING AVG
.454-Carew, MIN, .347-Brett, KC, .347-Gamble, CHX, .332-Bostock, MIN
.330-Cowens. KC, .328-Yaz, BOS, .324-Burleson, BOS, .322-Lynn, BOS

HOMERS
17-Harrah, TEX, 13-Thornton, CLE, 13-Netlles, NYY
12-Jackson, NYY, 11-Yaz, BOS

RBIs
47-Harrah, TEX, 40-Thornton, CLE, 38-Yaz, BOS
36-Rice, BOS, 36-McRae, KC, 35-Bostock, MIN

GWRBIs
7-Cowens, KC, 5-McRae, KC, 5-Fisk, BOS
5-Horton, TEX, 5-Yaz, BOS, 5-Piniella, NYY
5-Harrah, TEX, 5-Hisle, MIN

WALKS
43-Hargrove, TEX, 33-Carew, MIN, 31-Thornton, CLE
27-Carbo, BOS, 26-Evans, BOS

WINS
7-1 Perry, TEX 6-3, Palmer, BAL, 5-1 Aase, BOS
5-1 Ellis, TEX, 5-2 Gullett, NYY, 5-2 Figueroa, NYY
5-2 Colborn, KC

E.R.A.
2.10 Leonard, KC, 2.79 Splittorff, KC, 3.08 Perry, TEX

SAVES
6-Campbell, BOS, 6-LaGrow, CHX, 5-T. Martinez, BAL

STRIKEOUTS
73-Guidry, NY, 67-Perry, TEX, 56-Leonard, KC, 54-Eckersley, CLE

NL LEADERS

OPS
1.176 Smith, L.A.
1.108 Parker, PIT
1.018 McBride, STL
1.000 Baker, L.A.
0.996 Ferguson, HOU
0.996 Carter, MON
0.992 Foster, CIN
0.989 Cruz, HOU

BATTING AVG
.401-Parker, PIT, .391-McBride, STL, .387-Templeton, STL, .340-Smith, L.A
.343-Simmons, STL, .335-Murcer, CHC, .322-Oliver, PIT, .321-Baker, LA

HOMERS
15-Bench, CIN, 15-Foster, CIN, 14-Carter, MON
13-Valentine, MON, 12-Smith, L.A., 11-Garner, PIT

RBIs
45-Foster, CIN, 42-Robinson, PIT, 41-Watson, HOU, 41-Murcer, CHC
39-Parker, PIT, 39-Bench, CIN, 38-Garvey, L.A., 37-Valentine, MON

GWRBIs
6-Watson, HOU, 6-Rose, CIN, 6-Foster, CIN,
5-Templeton, STL, 5-Carter, MON

WALKS
37-Smith- L.A. 32-Lopes, L.A., 28-Rose, CIN,
28-Cey, L.A., 26-Morgan, CIN

WINS
7-1 Lonborg, PHL, 6-2 Richard, HOU, 6-3 Candelaria, PIT
5-1 Seaver, CIN, 5-1 Urrea, STL, 5-2 Sutton, L.A.

E.R.A.
1.94-Forsch, STL, 2.21-Richard, HOU, 2.50-Brown, MON
2.51-Reuss, PIT, 2.58-Candelaria, PIT, 2.80-Urrea, STL

SAVES
9-Sambito, HOU, 6-Sutter, CHC, 6-Gossage, PIT, 5-Sarmiento, CIN

STRIKEOUTS
56-Resuchel, CHC, 55-Richard, HOU, 54-Carlton, PHL

GET YOUR TEAM BREAKDOWNS RIGHT HERE!
 As always, here are PDFs of Team Hitting, Team Pitching, and Assorted Miscellany.