Expert Surgery by Dr. John

PITTSBURGH—Sherman Wayman here, remember me? It’s been a century and a half, I know, but don’t think I’ve lost interest in this baseball season, even though my Dodger boys have been giving me conniption fits these days. I mean, c’mon, my dead Bubbie could’ve hit better than they have lately with a hot towel on both her ankles, and now I’ve taken Greyhounds all the way back here to Three Rivers just to watch Tommy John battle future Dodger Jerry Reuss for the afternoon rubber game in this gotten-to-be desperate three-game series.

I wish I didn’t have to run away from my friends in Cleveland the way I did, but I really don’t need Dr. Grossinger in my life anymore, thank you very much.  This old sponge knows who he is and where he’s going now.  If I can just keep these damn shoes of mine tied…Hold it a second…

Game of the Day

Of course you have to understand that Reggie Smith’s been sitting on his tuches this whole series with some kind of bruise nonsense, but Pops Stargell has also been out, which is like comparing pastrami to corned beef in my book.

There’s a fair amount of folks here for this Thursday matinee, or maybe just a lot of unemployed steel people.  Either way they’re making a racket and L.A. puts a cork in ’em in the 1st when Baker singles with one out, Teddy Martinez, playing short for Russell to get us some more offense against the lefty, singles Dusty to third.  Cey, in a road trip slump I can’t even begin to tell you about, works a walk, and Reggie replacement Lee Lacy slaps a single to left for two quick runs.  Garvey, also swinging like a big chiseled pansy, beats out a possible DP grounder to score the third run.

And then it’s Tommy Time. Dr. John hasn’t been getting anyone out for a while, but today he’s got his sinking fastball freezing Pirate kneecaps. Parker touches him for a double and single in the first six innings but John walks no one and gets practically everyone else. A 2-base error by Taveras and Yeager pop homer makes it 5-0 Dodgers, then 6-0 when Forster relieves Reuss and L.A. piles a two-out walk and singles by Garvey and Burke into another run.

But I wasn’t born yesterday, or even the day before that. I know what these Bucs can do. Seen it all year. And there goes a Bill Robinson homer in the 7th to get them on the board. Parker leads the 9th with a single, Robinson walks, and they’re at it all over again. When Oliver singles one out later, the bases are stuffed and Charlie Hough comes on for the second straight day to save our skins.

Except Taveras singles and it’s 6-2! Duffy Dyer with his ton of on-base business somehow whiffs on a knuckleball, and Ed Ott hits for Tekulve. All steelpeople on their feet! One Dodger fan afraid to look! Ott swings, lines it into Lopes’ glove, and L.A. takes two out of three!

Thank God for this, but now I’m exhausted and have no idea where to go. Guess I could stick around to watch the Cubs here this weekend, but we know how that one probably turns out. Should I follow the Dodgers to Cincinnati? Amy rode with me on the first bus and got off somewhere in Ohio when I was taking my nap, so otherwise I’d be asking her. Hate to say this, but…I miss my poor sweet Hannah more than ever right now.

L.A 300 200 100 – 6 10 0
PIT 000 000 101 -2 10 1

W-John L-Reuss SV-Hough HRS: Yeager, Robinson GWRBI-Lacy

Other Action:

CARDS 6-10-1, PHILLIES 2-10-0
Bake McBride gets traded and changes clubhouses before game time after falling out of favor with Vern Rapp for some reason, but it doesn’t hurt St. Louis any. In a contest with an almost identical line score to the Dodger one, Lonborg is roughed up for only the second time all year. Bob Forsch sees the 2-5 spots in Philly’s order collect three doubles, two triples and three singles but he gets everyone else when he needs to.

W-Forsch L-Lonborg GWRBI-Scott

CUBS 6-14-0, at EXPOS 3-5-1
It’s a mystery how Renko usually wins and Bonham almost always loses, but Steve does it again against his old mates. Hernandez and Sutter with three hitless relief innings.

W-Renko L-Brown HRS: Dawson, Valentine GWRBI-Ontiveros

at REDS 9-10-0, ASTROS 0-2-0
Seaver has Houston hitless until Roger Metzger triples with one out in the 8th and Morgan is on base four out of five times against Pentz and the dregs of the Astro staff.

W-Seaver L-Pentz HRS: Morgan, Foster GWRBI-Morgan

at RED SOX 11-15-1, TWINS 10-16-0
And this is with each team’s best starter going, and in bad weather. Dewey Evans, obviously stoked about his manager’s upcoming book reading and signing tomorrow in South Pasadena (shameless Josh Wilker plug!), slams a 3-run shot off Goltz to give the Sox a 4-1 lead, a 2-run shot off Goltz to start them back after the Twins go up 9-4, and a 3-run shot off Tom Johnson to cap a four-run 8th and take another game they have no business taking. With their baseball-leading 17th comeback, and with Yaz out for the entire series, Boston still outhomers Minnesota 8-1 and takes a game and a half lead.

W-Hernandez L-T. Johnson HRS: Hisle, Evans-3, Carbo GWRBI- Evans

at YANKEES 4-7-0, ROYALS 2-9-2
Another awful Guidry performance, but this time he punches every one of his ten strikeouts at the right time of the clock. Now it’s Dennis Leonard who’s having a tough time winning.

W-Guidry L-Leonard HR: Zeber GWRBI-Alston

WHITE SOX 2-7-0, at INDIANS 1-11-2
Two great starts in a row by Chicago, this time from Barrios, with some major 9th inning help from Dal Canton. Eckersley drops to 3-7, but many of those losses are from his team not scoring. Like here.

W-Barrios L-Eckersley SV-Dal Canton HR: Orta GWRBI-Orta


It seems that Mr. Gip—or “Buzz,” as he prefers to call himself—has been making ample time in our unsightly Coronet as we drive to Iowa in search of patient Lester Creech. It pained me somewhat to leave Mr. Headley in the Cleveland hospital, but the staff there seemed well-trained, and willing to supply him with the appropriate drugs and therapy to speed his recovery.

“Buzz” seems quiet in control of himself lately, if anything, taking aggressive charge of a difficult situation in a way that didn’t seem possible in our sessions one month ago. I will make a point of being as open and accommodating as I can with him, even going so far as to tolerate his obsessive-compulsive relationship with baseball, which will helpfully draw him out further. I did read a recent study citing road travel as a possible method of behavior relaxation, and I must admit it in the first few days, despite being cast away in a decade I have never had much fondness for, it has helped me considerably.

Upcoming weekend matchups:

Cubs at Pirates
Dodgers at Reds
Cards at Expos
Astros at Phillies

White Sox at Red Sox
Rangers at Yankees
Royals at Orioles
Twins at Indians

American League through Thursday, June 5

Boston 30 20 .600
Kansas City 29 22 .569 1.5
Baltimore 27 23 .540 3
Texas 28 24 .538 3
New York 25 24 .510 4.5
Minnesota 21 29 .420 9
Chicago 21 28 .429 8.5
Cleveland 20 31 .392 10.5

National League through Thursday, June 5

Pittsburgh 32 22 .593
St. Louis 29 23 .558 2
Philadelphia 27 24 .529 3.5
Los Angeles 26 24 .520 4
Cincinnati 27 25 . 519 4
Houston 25 28 .472 6.5
Montreal 21 29 .420 9
Chicago 20 32 .385 11


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2 responses to “Expert Surgery by Dr. John

  1. So long, Bake. I’m gonna miss that Afro in Cardinal Red.

  2. It always intrigued me that you never saw Jerry Reuss and Terry Bradshaw in the same place at the same time. Just sayin’…

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