The Only Dang Game in Town

By Ed “Peachy” Calhoun
Jewett Babbler
Sports Columnist

Sheeeeyit. Never thought I’d say it, but I miss every one of those nice folks that rooted for the wrong teams and got evaporated. Not as much fun being on a supersonic luxury high-speed train under the earth if you’re only sharing it with a stuck-up lady doctor, a Nebraska farm boy in a wheelchair with one limb left, and a creepy guy in shades and white clothes who almost never comes out of the driving compartment.

On the other hand, it’s nice to help myself to the fancy beers and roast beef bar and baseball DVD collection we got stocked with. Even saw Major League for the 16th time last night.

Anyway, sure gotta hand it to my Ranger boys for hanging in this long. We took that last game against the Royals because Dutchman Blyleven stepped up, and now he has another chance to keep us alive when he gets rematched against Denny Leonard in KC tomorrow. It’s gonna be one epic hoedown, and I hear it’s even going to be live on some newfangled thing called Tweet-radio. Check out the poster up there if you don’t believe me.

The hero for today, though was good ol’ Doyle Alexander. He’d lost four straight, pitching all kinds of cruddy, then went into Comiskey having to win or we’d be dead and shut them White Sox DOWN! Meanwhile Willie Horton singled one in to get us going in the 3rd, Hargrove took Kravec into the upper deck for a 3-run pie, we left 16 idiots on the bases but damn, that was still so easy!

You can bet tomorrow night won’t be, but hell, we are 10-9 against them Royals so far, so don’t count us out yet. All we gotta do is sweep all three games and take a one-game playoff. And by the way, Seamus says because I ain’t from the future I won’t be doing any evaporatin’. Got my nice easy chair back in Jewett waitin’ on me.

TEX 002 320 000 – 7 13 2
CHI 000 000 001 – 1 7 1

W-Alexander L-Kravec HR-Hargrove GWRBI-Horton

The Seamus Spin (two days’ worth)

RANGERS 6-15-0, at WHITE SOX 3-9-1
Gaylord was almost as good yesterday, and Texas destroys Steve Stone, kicking the game off with a Bump Wills pop homer off the foul pole, followed by six singles in the 2nd. Chicago’s 8-game win streak ended here.

at RED SOX 15-18-0, YANKEES 2-11-0
And for all intents and purposes, the Yankee season died here. Though to be fair, it died over a week ago when they blew chance after chance to pick up ground on the Royals by losing horrible games to the Orioles and White Sox. Catfish lasts all of four Boston batters (homer-single-single-homer), gets replaced by Tidrow (homer-homer-single-double-single-single in the 3rd), and the bloodbath pours in. New York gets 11 hits off Aase but can barely score anyone, and losing Rivers on a HBP to begin the game doesn’t help. Meanwhile, two taters from Carbo, one each by Fisk, Yaz, Rice, and Lynn.

ROYALS 6-11-1, at TWINS 2-6-1
And this one eliminates the Yankees once and for all. Guess who the most clutch KC pitcher has been. Would you believe Andy “No” Hassler? Another CG win , and he keeps Carew hitless for all four at bats. Frank White with a huge 3-run smash in the 6th off Thormodsgard to put the game away.

at CUBS 6-9-0, CARDS 3-7-1
Reuschel bests Forsch, and the Cubbies still have a slight chance of eeking past the Expos for 7th place.

REDS 3-10-0, at PHILLIES 1-7-1
Morgan with a double and homer off Christenson. Norman with a dazzler, and the Phillies continue to embarrass themselves.

at RED SOX 5-8-1, YANKEES 3-11-0
Good lord, what a puddle of bile. Against Reggie Cleveland, with the wind blowing out at Fenway, New York  is still anemic. Cleveland is even left in the game in the top of the 9th despite being fatigued, even after Alston and Zeber open with singles, because Don Zimmer, for once in his life, knows better. Yup, there’s the 5-4-3 Munson DP and Reggie fly out to end the game, and Boston ties the Yanks for third place. Since New York took the opener in KC on Sept. 12th to close to within one in the loss column, they’ve lost six out of ten. On the Boston side, the sweep gives them the season series 13-9, and a dollop of satisfaction after their own swan dive.

at PHILLIES 3-9-0, REDS 2-8-1
Jim Lonborg has been walking on water all year, and does it again, getting out of five huge jams and keeping Philly ahead until Garber can save it. That’s a 14-6 final record for Jim, the surprise second best starter on the club.

ETCETERAS: If you get a moment, check out my fun story for Seamheads this week on the hapless (hap-filled?) St. Louis Browns. And if you get a spare 45 minutes, be sure to take Peachy’s advice and tune in right here Thursday night at 9 p.m. eastern for the Rangers/Royals live Tweetcast.

American League through Thursday, September 25

Kansas City 85 66 .563
Texas 82 69 .543 3
New York 80 71 .530 5
Boston 80 71 .530 5
Baltimore 78 73 .517 7
Chicago 70 82 .461 15.5
Cleveland 67 84 .443 18
Minnesota 63 89 .414 22.5

National League through Thursday, September 25

x-Pittsburgh 88 63 .583
Cincinnati 83 68 .550 5
Los Angeles 83 68 .550- 5
Philadelphia 82 69 .543 6
St. Louis 80 71 .530 8.5
Houston 70 81 .464 18.5
Montreal 60 91 .397 28
Chicago 58 93 .384 30

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