PITTSBURGH—With the Dodgers opening their final three games at Three Rivers, I knew Sherman and Sheila would be at each other’s throats, so I made sure they sat at opposite ends of the aisle. Little did we know the Hooton-Candelaria “pitcher’s duel” would morph into a crazy, back-and-forth bashfest. Afterwards, I was able to nab their heavily-annotated game scorecards and weave them together for all of you to follow along:
Top of 1ST (Sherman Wayman)
Lopes grounds to Taveras. Martinez pops to Stennett. Smith walks. Cey whiffs, like you’re surprised?
Bottom of 1ST (Dr. Grossinger)
Oliver retires himself on a ground ball. Garner is struck four inches below the left sternum and given a three-day leave of absence to mend his wound. (Fregosi takes his place on the running path.) Parker is out on strikes. Stargell draws four balls. Robinson singles sharply, accurately placed between the left and center fielders, scoring Garner. Stennett grounds into a force out play. 1-0 PIRATES.
Top of 2ND
Baker hits the crap out of one but right to Fregosi. Garvey flies to Parker. Lacy, Yeager and Hooton all get themselves doinky singles, but what the hell, Lacy scores and we’re tied, right? Lopes bounces out to Candelaria. Schmuck.
Bottom of 2ND
Dyer singles cleanly. Taveras is fanned. Candelaria flies out. Oliver lines out.
Top of 3RD
Martinez counts his lucky stars when he’s safe on rare Stennett error. Smith, Cey and Baker all fly out because they’re all trying to put the damn team on their backs.
Bottom of 3RD
Fregosi is out on a lackluster, dribbling grounder to the catcher. Parker flies out. Stargell propels the ball to the farthest region of the upper deck in right field. Robinson grounds out. 2-1 PIRATES.
Top of 4TH
Garvey lifts his skirt and pops to Taveras. Lacy rips a double down the line. Yeager bounces one to Taveras, who kicks it every which way but up and we got first and third. Hooton singles again, scoring Lacy. Candelaria doesn’t have it today, I’m tellin’ ya. Lopes whiffs. Schmuck. Martinez singles to load ’em. Smith walks again, scoring Yeager. Cey grounds to Taveras but we’re back in front! 3-2 DODGERS.
Bottom of 4TH
Stennett strikes out. Dyer grounds out. Taveras singles. Candelaria strikes out. Seven pitches, less than a minute to complete the inning.
Top of 5TH
Baker and Garvey fly out. Lacy with another single! Why doesn’t Tommy start this guy every day? Yeager grounds to Taveras.
Bottom of 5TH
Oliver decisively singles. Fregosi labors, but produces a walk. Cobra BELTS ONE. It’s high, it’s deep, IT’S GONE!!!!! WOO-HOO!!! (my apologies) Stargell flies to right. Robinson strikes out. Stennett rolls out. 5-3 PIRATES.
Top of 6TH
Mota hits for Hooton, reaches on Fregosi error. Lopes the Schmuck whiffs again. Martinez singles, but Smith whiffs and Cey flies to Oliver. I don’t need any more of this crap, I really don’t.
Bottom of 6TH
With Garman the new pitcher for Los Angeles, Dyer singles. Taveras forces himself on a grounder, then steals the second base bag, no doubt the result of childhood feelings of want. Hough replaces Garman, and retires Candelaria and Oliver with impressive dexterity.
Top of 7TH
Baker and Garvey? I’ve had it up to here with the two of ’em. After they both fly out they’re 0-for-stinking-8 on the game. Lacy doubles, making him 4-for-4 in a wasteland. Yeager lines to Taveras to prove what I’m talking about.
Bottom of 7TH
Garner walks. Parker walks. Stargell obliterates the rally with a 3-6-3 double play. Robinson is out on strikes.
Top of 8TH
Burke hits for Hough and flies to Robinson. Lopes just about gives me a heart attack by walking. Martinez singles him to third and Smith hits a sac fly. Now we’re cookin’! Cey doubles, knocking Candy Butt out of the game, maybe his worst all year. That skinny schlemiel Tekulve takes over, and we smack him around too, Baker and Garvey ripping singles for three runs out of nowhere! 6-5 DODGERS.
Bottom of 8TH
With my prognosis for this game hopelessly skewed, Stan Wall is now pitching. Stennett grounds out. Dyer doubles for his third safety! Taveras rolls out and Gonzalez bats for Tekulve and fans.
Top of 9TH
That overfed Goose is in, meaning Yeager, Wall and Lopes go 1-2-3, but I still got a chance to see us win if my liver doesn’t give out.
Bottom of 9TH
Oliver leads off and BASHES ONE OUT OF THE PARK. Tie game! Fregosi singles. Parker singles. Al Downing comes on to face Stargell, who takes a called third strike. Robinson walks, loading the bases. Here’s Stennett, and he singles up the middle past the diving, unstable, non-confident Lopes for the winning run! The Pirates return to first place!!
Patient Wayman has regrettably entered a manic-depressive state, as his Dodgers are now losers of five in a row. I will be monitoring his condition daily, though plan to hold back any aggressive study until his team departs from Pittsburgh.
L.A. 010 200 030 – 6 13 0
PIT 101 030 002 – 7 12 3
W-Gossage L-Downing HRS: Stargell, Parker, Oliver GWRBI-Stennett
The Buzz Line
CARDS 6-10-0, at PHILLIES 5-11-0
If the Phils don’t win this thing, they can blame the Redbirds. Christenson gets racked for eight hits and six runs in the first three innings before settling down nicely, and St. Louis holds on with a dab or two of sweat to go to 15-6 against them on the year, with one more to play under the Arch. Schultz, Carroll, Falcone and Hrabosky relieve Urrea and make it interesting, but Mad Al whiffs the Bull with the tying run aboard and two outs in the 9th.
CUBS 5-10-0, at EXPOS 2-5-2
Down 2-1, the Cubbies keep their mini-revival going, tying the game on doubles by Ontiveros and Buckner in the 6th, then winning it on a Gross triple and doubles by DeJesus and Ontiveros with one out in the 7th. Sutter relieves Bonham for another big save. Next stop for Chicago is Philadelphia, who they’re a robust 3-15 against.
RANGERS 2-7-2, at ORIOLES 0-4-0
Brilliant pitch-off between Blyleven and May, won on a 9th inning Kurt Bevacqua homer. For the whole game, Texas strands people, grounds into ridiculous double plays and has Harrah thrown out at home on a 1-16 roll, but when you’re a hot first-place team, these things often don’t matter.
ROYALS 8-16-2, at YANKEES 3-8-0
Yesterday’s sickening performance against Andy Hassler was bad; this is just godawful. Leonard isn’t exactly on his game, but Figueroa is about 1000 miles off course over the Caribbean. Seventeen of the 35 men he faces reach base, and he’s finally dropped through the trap door after Munson ties the game 3-3 with a 2-run shot in the 6th, only to have Ed give K.C. three runs right back with two outs and nobody on in the 7th. At least the Yanks now get the Twins.
TWINS 6-14-0, at RED SOX 3-6-0
Uhh…maybe that isn’t such a good thing. Down 3-0, the former Twinkies pummel Don Aase for six runs in the 5th, win pretty easily for their second 3-game sweep at Fenway this year, tie the White Sox for 7th and are just one game out of 6th. Boston drops into third place, and it’s easy to see why. In their last eleven games, their starters have thrown 66 innings and given up 116 hits and 49 earned runs. Everyone is getting pasted.
(Astros, Reds, White Sox and Indians all idle.)
American League through Thursday, August 21
National League through Thursday, August 21