Night of the American League Dead

BOSTON—Seamus was afraid to re-route the bus to Memphis to keep Amy from messing up Elvis history, so today he showed me the controls, jumped ship and rented a car to drive down there himself. Personally, I don’t know what the big deal is if the King survives. Worse comes to worse he plays a few hundred more gigs in Vegas and probably gets a reality show at some point. It ain’t like the Clash and U2 aren’t gonna happen.

The thing that I’m scared of is this ghastly day of American League play by the front-runners. Like foul inhabitants of second division Hades, their vastly inferior tormentors crawled from their red clay tombs, sweat oozing from pores, razor-sharp hits spilling off their bats. Horrified fans fled to the exits as the clocks struck midnight, still shaking and shivering, feeble words of comfort echoing from their mouths…”It’s only a ball game…only a ball game…”

INDIANS 13-22-0, at RED SOX 5-11-0
Anyway, I take us to Beantown for the second Indians game, and what a travesty of a disgrace of an abomination! Eckersley is throwing the way he usually does, meaning seven strikeouts, no walks and five homers, but the Tribe absolutely tattoo Tiant, Paxton and Willoughby for 22 hits and their second straight win. Boston can mash taters until the cows and whaling ships come home, but if they keep getting non-Jenkins starting pitching like this they’re not winning crap.

On the other hand…

at WHITE SOX 6-12-1, ROYALS 3-12-0
Brett may be out for two games, but there’s no excuse for this loss. McRae takes the Royals’ hitting reins with a triple, double and single but Colborn, Littell and Mingori fart away their 3-2 lead when Chicago scores four times in the 7th—a Gamble double and Zisk homer the killing blows.

ORIOLES 12-16-1, at YANKEES 2-11-1
Like K.C., the Yanks bomb yet another great chance to gain ground. Not that Palmer vs. Torrez is a fair matchup, but it’s the second day in a row the anemic Birds post 12 runs in the Bronx.

at TWINS 7-12-0, RANGERS 6-11-1
Like K.C. and New York, Texas bombs a great chance to gain ground and move past the Yanks into third. Gaylord Perry is horrible for a change, and the Rangers storm back from a 6-2 early deficit to make it 6-5, but Cubbage’s fourth RBI in the 7th ices it. Three straight home wins for the Twins, by the by.

PIRATES 3-11-0, at PHILLIES 1-4-0
Sheila would’ve liked us to be at this fabulous game at the Vet between the two neck-and-neckers, but screw it; I was driving the bus. Rooker and Kaat in a scoreless duel until Bill Robinson singles in Garner in the 5th. Brusstar and McGraw hold the Bucs without another run until the 9th, when that man Robinson doubles in two more off Garber. McBride leads the Phillie 9th with a clean double, the third hit off Rooker. Goose to the rescue, except Hebner singles and Schmidt hits a deep sac fly. Here’s Bull Luzinski, and he wraps into a 6-4-3 to end it. Pirates are tied for first again!

at EXPOS 8-9-0, REDS 5-12-0
Billingham is awful, Ray Knight becomes the latest Reds injury casualty, but Cincy plays their brains out anyway, outhits Montreal and loses thanks to two big homers from Valentine and Dawson.  (The Hawk is hitting one out practically every day now). Jackie Brown with the CG.

at ASTROS 5-9-1, CARDS 1-5-1
Andujar snaps his 8-game losing streak by shutting down the Redbirds. Watson is at it yet again, with two singles, a double, sac fly and three ribbis. But Art Howe gets the game-winner for a change and Houston wins for the 50th time.

at DODGERS 7-10-0, CUBS 2-6-1
Exact same score as yesterday, this time with Sutton besting Krukow. Baker bops one, Lopes, Russell and Smith all with two hits apiece, and the Dodgers inch back in front of the Reds for third place.

American League through Wednesday, August 13th

Boston 64 50 .561
Kansas City 65 53 .551 1
New York 62 53 .539 2.5
Texas 63 54 .538 2.5
Baltimore 58 58 .500 7
Cleveland 53 64 .453 12.5
Chicago 51 65 .440 14
Minnesota 48 67 .417 16.5

National League through Wednesday, August 13th

Philadelphia 66 48 .579
Pittsburgh 67 49 .578
Los Angeles 64 50 .561 2
Cincinnati 65 52 .556 2.5
St. Louis 61 54 .530 5.5
Houston 50 67 .427 17.5
Montreal 48 67 .417 18.5
Chicago 40 74 .351 26

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