Back in the Hood, Inside my Hood

NEW YORK—Friendly Fred in yo face again, first time in town since the lights went out and the Bronx burned. Nice of my man Seamus to zap us to the last Yank showdown with the Boston Chowderasses, ’cause I know there’s a bigger piece of business on his mind. Yeah yeah, that crazy-ass Amy girl split the scene to stake out Elvis Presley’s crib, but damn, we still got pennant races to watch, and why should I care about some fat, bling-wearin’, soon-to-be-wormfood white dude who made millions robbing the black man’s music? Tutti frutti this, sucker!

Game of the Day

Can’t find sweeter weather in the Bronx, that’s for damn sure. Place almost looks like one of those French extortionism paintings. Catfish is goin’ against Reggie Candyass Cleveland, and I don’t care how weak we’ve played lately, if the Bombers can’t bomb him we got serious problems.

Well, we got serious problems for the first three innings, but My Man Catfish is up for the fight, giving up a Dwight Evans double through three and nothing else. Then Jimmy Rice and Evans spank his behind for two straight doubles in the 4th and we’re down 1-0. This ain’t good. Except Cleveland’s just a big fool and shows his fool-ass colors in the 5th, kickin’ away a Zeber grounder in the 5th with one out. Thurman singles him to third and the better Reggie gets him in with a deep fly.

That pain-in-the-butt Polish chump puts one in the upper deck with one gone in the 6th, and Catfish’s next pitch hits Rice-a-Roni in the wrist. He whips his bat away, looks out at Catfish and yells something that makes Dr. Sheila’s face go all red. The ump throws his ass out right there, even though the bruised wrist would’ve knocked him out anyway.

Bottom of the 7th now, still down 2-1, a Zeber single and Munson double chase Cleveland and brings in Willoughby. Jackson walks. Rivers pops a weak fly, deep enough to score Zeber, but Nettles hits one right to the wall, just missing a righteous slam, and the tying run’s in!

Then the bottom of our lineup goes to town in the 8th. White lines a double, Stanley singles in the go-ahead, Alston doubles him in and Campbell is on. Zeber singles in another and it’s 5-2 in a Bronx minute.

But the Sox ain’t in first place ’cause they bribed the man. They’ve been stakin’ a CLAIM. Tidrow takes the hill and Evans hits his first pitch 450 feet to dead left. Sparky takes the ball, and Freddy Lynn hits it 420 feet to deep right. Two pitches, two taters, and it’s 5-4. Hobson gets smoked, but Burleson and Doyle both single, and my hood’s over my head. Just can’t watch this shit. Buzz tells me that Carbo grounded to Dent. I peek out, see Fisk heading for the plate, and duck inside my hood again. I hear the crack of the ball, the crowd noise risin’, look out and see White snatch the ball near the foul line to end our latest root canal.

Somehow we’re just two and a half out again. The Birds fly in next, while the Sox go home to Cleveland, but damn—what I wouldn’t give for an easy win one of these years!

BOS 000 101 002 – 4 9 1
NYY 000 010 13x – 5 16 0

W-Hunter L-Willoughby SV-Lyle HRS: Yaz, Evans, Lynn GWRBI-Stanley

The Buzz Line

at ROYALS 6-12-0, WHITE SOX 3-8-3
WHITE SOX 10-12-2, at ROYALS 6-12-1
Another schizo day for K.C., which makes sense for a team that’s been basically playing .500 ball (48-47) since opening the year 16-4. Hassler, Littell and Mingori combine for a gutty first game win, Brett and McRae going yard, before Doug Bird craps the bed for the third straight time in the nightcap. A 2-base Brett error helps lead to a huge six-run 2nd for Chicago, and after the Royals fight back to 6-4, Bird immediately serves up dingers to Lemon (his second) and Zisk to give them the game.

INDIANS 7-11-0, at ORIOLES 1-6-1
Baltimore’s mission to go back over .500 is ruined by Wayne Garland and the very dormant Rico Carty, who takes the DH spot and mashes two homers off Flanagan. Poor Mike loses his fourth in a row and five of six.

at RANGERS 11-14-0, TWINS 0-3-1
Whoa Nellie. Doyle Alexander with a brilliant 3-hit shutout, putting away 17 straight Twins at one point. Beniquez and Hargrove with homers, and Bert Campaneris is on base all five times. And the Texans are now within three games of first with the Royals coming to Arlington next.

EXPOS 4-8-1, at PIRATES 3-10-1
EXPOS 4-7-2, at PIRATES 3-11-0
That cold-blooded scream you hear is Sheila, waking herself in the middle of the night having a nightmare about this double header. After taking the first two series games kind of easily, absolutely nothing goes right for the Bucs. Odell Jones throws decently for him in the opener, but his mates hit into five double plays to kill most every rally. Groundball butchery by Frank Taveras with two outs in the 6th is followed by a 3-run Perez blast that decides the game. In the second travesty, the Pirates miss two 1-14 single rolls that would have scored runs, and two 1-12 homer rolls, while Montreal gets a 1-7 Dawson shot and 1-5 Carter blast in the 5th off Forster to take the lead for good. Just for the record, someone named Hal Dues gets the complete game win for the spoilin’ ‘Spos.

at REDS 5-7-0, PHILLIES 4-7-1 (10 innings)
Mike Schmidt with a 1st inning slam off Norman, and it looks like a bad day in Cincy again, but Freddy recovers and holds the Phils without another hit until the 8th. The Reds, with Morgan and Driessen joining Bench in the injured ranks, tie it in the 5th anyway, then win it in the 10th on a rare Bowa error and singles by Rose and Griffey.

at ASTROS 2-9-0, DODGERS 1-4-1
Boy, this L.A. team is all out of sorts offensively. Not that hitting J. R. Richard is easy, but Garvey has two beautiful clutch chances his first two times up and does nothing, then hits a solo jack for the only Dodger run. A scoring single by Cruz and Cedeno homer off John are all Houston needs to take two of the first three with one more tomorrow.

at CARDS 5-11-0, CUBS 2-11-1
CUBS 3-7-0, at CARDS 1-4-1
Sister-kissing party in St. Loo. First Urrea throws a fine CG, Templeton collecting his 20th triple of the year, before Dennis Lamp, of all people, throws a strong five innings and Larry Dierker is worthless again for the Cards, giving up all three Cub runs in his two-plus innings of “work”.  Anyway, the Cubs finally have 40 wins! Yahooo!

American League through Sunday, August 10

Boston 64 48 .571
Kansas City 64 51 .557 1.5
New York 62 51 .549 2.5
Texas 62 52 .544 3
Baltimore 56 57 .496 8.5
Chicago 50 63 .442 14.
Cleveland 50 64 .439 15
Minnesota 45 67 .402 19

National League through Sunday, August 10

Philadelphia 65 46 .586
Pittsburgh 65 49 .570 1.5
Cincinnati 65 50 .565 2
Los Angeles 61 50 .550 4
St. Louis 61 52 .541 5
Houston 48 66 .420 18.5
Montreal 46 66 .411 19.5
Chicago 40 72 .357 25.5

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