Good Thing the White Sox are Poopies

Hi. My name is Carlton Gip, and I’m five.  I am also on a big long car trip to some mystery place. Uncle Buzz and Aunt Sheila are nice and buy me hamburgers and milk shakes a lot. Sometimes a toy. But I am not sure all the time if they know where they think they are going. Mostly they just stop at small hotels that have bad beds sometimes with bugs. And Uncle Buzz listens or watches ball games meaning I never get to watch Scooby or Superfriends.

Last night we had Grandpa Sherman with us, too, and he smelled funny and I don’t think he’s my grandpa at all. He didn’t know where he was going either and we got lost and had to stop at another stupid little hotel in some desert. There was no TV just a little radio, and I was so mad I stole the radio when Uncle Buzz wasn’t looking and took it in the bathroom and hid it in a closet behind toilet paper.

Fake Grandpa snored all night, and he is still asleep right now. Maybe after he wakes up I can get pancakes and we can try to figure out where he wants to go all over again. But I did hear Uncle Buzz say that the Red Sox beat up the White Sox again, which makes me happy. He likes them as much I like them. I can really tell he is my uncle.

I have to go potty now. Maybe I will pretend I found the radio. Bye.

Tuesday’s Action:

Buzz here. Had to get results from the late edition of some Palm Springs newspaper because our loser motel room didn’t have a TV or radio, and the sports section didn’t even have box scores! Damn Sherman. We went through all this trouble to find him, and now I’m ready to throw him out of the car. Anyway…

RED SOX 17-23-2, at WHITE SOX 5-9-1
Can’t believe I thought Boston’s offense would die when they hit the bigger midwest road parks. After this bloodbath they’re actually three games better away from Fenway! Hobson tags Barrios for a 2-run shot in the 2nd, and after Chicago ties it up, Boston gets two right back, before Carbo, Fisk and Yaz go back-to-back-to-back. Rice almost makes it a quarfecta by putting Bart Johnson’s first pitch on the warning track. Aase throws his first decent game in a while, but with this offense, Gary Waslewski could’ve done the same. Boston is now a gaudy 9-1 against their pale hosiery brothers.

YANKEES 6-9-1, at RANGERS 2-8-1
Not to be upstaged, the Bombers belt Blyleven badly, knocking four out of the park themselves, including two by Roy White. Guidry with the CG and the Yanks are now in second place by points.

ORIOLES 9-19-1, at ROYALS 3-5-0
Splittorff picks an awful night for his worst start of the year, and K.C. is hoodwinked by the Amazing Grimsley. McRae and Wathan with useless late homers.

at TWINS 3-9-1, INDIANS 2-8-0
Two triples by the seldom-headlined Luis Gomez drive in two of the Twin runs—including the game-winner in the 8th off Don Hood.

PHILLIES 4-9-0, at DODGERS 3-10-1
Larry Christenson was bound to win his second game eventually, and he does despite the Dodgers knocking him out in the 6th. Davey Johnson with a big 2-run shot in the 1st off Rau, who settles down far too late. Lost in L.A.’s lackluster play of late is the limp bat of Steve Garvey, whose average has dropped to .249.

at CARDS 7-10-1, PIRATES 0-7-2
What has gotten into Eric Harry Rasmussen? Bucs are all over the bases but he escapes every jam. Reuss meanwhile is jettisoned by his own man Al Oliver. Snubbed by the all-star committee, he takes his eye off the ball with two gone in the 3rd, drops it, and four unearned runs end up scoring. Don Kessinger, filling in for Templeton on the last day of his 3-game injury, doubles and singles in four trips. Strangeness all around.

REDS 5-10-0, at CUBS 4-11-3
Nothing strange here. Biitner gives Cubs 3-2 lead going to 8th. Driessen homers to tie game and Sutter enters. A double, single, single and two-base error by the same Biitner later, Cincy’s pulled ahead for good.

EXPOS 4-14-2, at ASTROS 2-7-2 (11 innings)
Rogers and Andujar in a really great duel, until Art Howe boots one in the 11th, Cash and Dawson single, and Houston is heartbreak city.

American League through Tuesday, June 24

Boston 42 27 .609
New York 39 30 .565 3
Kansas City 40 31 .563 3
Baltimore 37 32 .536 5
Texas 37 34 .521 6
Chicago 30 38 .441 11.5
Minnesota 29 40 .420 13
Cleveland 24 46 .343 18.5

National League through Tuesday, June 24

Pittsburgh 41 30 .577
Philadelphia 41 30 .577
Cincinnati 39 32 .549 2
St. Louis 39 32 .549 2
Los Angeles 37 32 .536 3
Houston 32 39 .451 9
Montreal 29 39 .426 10.5
Chicago 23 47 .329 17.5

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