My Dear Duffy Letter

PITTSBURGH—Amy here.  I wrote a special letter to Duffy Dyer today after his absolute dashingness against the Astros. Not sure if we’ll be back for tomorrow’s doubleheader, but in case not, at least that backstopping hunk will know I’m following him.

Dear Duff (is it OK to call you that?):

First of all, I can’t believe you’re from Dayton, Ohio and your birthday is August 15th. I actually drove through Dayton once and my birthday is August 19th! I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to write, but because you’ve been backing up Ed Ott I figured you don’t get as many fan letters as he does and mine would still stand out. Your Pirates have been at the top or in the thick of the race for the first two months, and it’s amazing how many big hits you’ve had playing maybe a third of the time.  Well, from now on you can dedicate them all to me if you want.

I was so happy I got sent to today’s game, or at least picked it out. Houston has barely been able to beat you all year, so even after Cruz doubled in that run in the 1st off Kison, I wasn’t worried. Oliver’s double in the 3rd off Niekro tied it, of course, and then Joe sac flied in their go-ahead run, but I could see you squeezing your bat while you sat on the bench, just waiting for your gallant moment to shine.

From what I’ve seen of the Pirates, they just never say roll over, and the 9th inning proved it again. Niekro got Oliver on a fly, but Parker walked and Pops singled him to second. Robinson then singled in Parker for the tie, and Sambito came on to face Ott, the happiest thing that could have happened to both of us.

Out you came, sweat on your perfect moustache glistening in the late afternoon sun. Sambito had no chance. I’m not sure if you could hear me with all the other fans screaming, but I was the one going “Please, Duffy, do it!!” over and over.

And then you did it! Spanked that ball silly, right over Puhl’s leap at the fence, and I was jumping up and down so much I almost peed myself. I guess they don’t do giant home plate celebrations yet because you only got a bunch of hand-shaking and head-patting and butt-slapping, but I’m glad about that too because a player can get hurt jumping onto a dog pile.

Anyway, I’ve been traveling a lot around the country with my friends, but they’re all starting to get on my nerves in different ways, so I was wondering if we could meet for a beer or dinner at your favorite place before midnight tonight. Whaddya think? I’ll be just outside the players parking lot wearing a bright yellow midriff top. You won’t miss me.

–Love & kisses from the grandstand, Amy Gulliver

HOU 100 000 100 – 2 6 0
PGH 001 000 004 – 5 8 1

W-Gossage L-Niekro HR: Dyer GWRBI-Dyer

Other action to close out the Merry Month of May:

at EXPOS 3-10-2, REDS 2-4-0
Another surprise ending. Morgan pops a two-run homer in the 7th to put Billingham on top of Jackie Brown, but after Cash leads the 8th with a single, Borbon enters and gives up an Unser double and two-run single to Carter and c’est cela!

W-Dues L-Borbon HR: Morgan GWRBI-Carter

ROYALS 9-14-1, at RED SOX 5-7-0
With both bullpens shot, Hassler and Aase both go the distance, and Aase weirdly loses his first game of the year to a yuckier pitcher. Pudge Fisk hits two homers in the first three innings, Hobson adds one and it’s 4-1 Boston before K.C. scores eight times in the next two innings to sock away the Sox and reclaim first place.

W-Hassler L-Aase HRS: Porter, Mayberry-2, Fisk-2, Hobson GWRBI-Mayberry

TWINS 5-11-2, at YANKEES 4-8-1
Guidry whiffs Carew his first two trips to the plate, before Rodney shortens up and flicks one into left for 45 straight games! Joe D. himself watches from the owner’s box with nervousness all over his face. On Guidry’s face there’s nothing but exasperation, because Louisiana Lightning gets short-circuited again by crummy run support and lackluster fielding. Piniella returns to the lineup with a solo shot in his first at bat, but white-hot Bostock breaks the 2-2 tie with a single in the 7th. The Yanks make some 8th inning noise but yesterday’s news George Zeber pinch hits with two on and grounds into a DP to kill the threat.

W-Schueler L-Guidry SV-T. Johnson HR: Piniella GWRBI-Bostock

WHITE SOX 3-11-2, at ORIOLES 1-6-0
The Birds finally get back home, entire roster healthy, and can’t hit for crap off Chris Knapp, grounding into five DPs against a team that almost never turns them. As Sherman would say, oy.

W-Knapp L-Flanagan SV-LaGrow HR: Garr GWRBI-Garr

RANGERS 6-11-1, at INDIANS 0-4-0
Texas slips into third place behind Curvemaster Blyleven, as the Tribe remains in the hitting coma they unearthed in the Bronx.

W-Blyleven L-Hood HR: Ellis, Beniquez GWRBI-Horton

RECORDS IN MAY
16-12 Boston
16-13 New York
18-15 Texas
16-15 Minnesota
16-15 Baltimore
16-15 Kansas City
12-18 Chicago
11-18 Cleveland

19-10 St. Louis
20-13 Pittsburgh
17-13 Philadelphia
16-15 Houston
16-15 Cincinnati
14-16 Los Angeles
15-22 Chicago
12-19 Montreal

STATS REPORT TOMORROW!

American League through Saturday, May 31

Kansas City 27 19 .587
Boston 26 19 .578 0.5
Texas 26 22 .542 2
Baltimore 24 22 .522 3
New York 22 22 .500 4
Minnesota 20 25 .444 6.5
Chicago 19 25 .432 7
Cleveland 18 28 .391 9

National League through Saturday, May 31

Pittsburgh 29 20 .592
St. Louis 26 20 .565 1.5
Philadelphia 24 21 .533 3
Los Angeles 23 22 .511 4
Houston 24 24 .500 4.5
Cincinnati 23 23 . 500 4.5
Montreal 19 26 .422 8
Chicago 17 29 .370 10.5

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