National Massacre Day

HARLEM—Friendly Fred back with ya, after hitchin’ about 17 rides from Ohio to the Big Wormy Apple. Thought my grandma would freak when she saw me show up on her stoop all growed up, but her mind was gone like I remembered, and she thought I was her cousin George from Atlanta so I played along. She put me up on her couch, said she’d feed me soup for as long as I can stand it. That’s good news, because the Yanks still got this home stand to finish out and I’d like to catch me most every game even if I’m stuck out in the bleachers.

Dr. G. showin’ up in Cleveland the way she did was pure jive, and there is no way I am goin’ back to her loony house any time soon. Figure all I gotta do is lay low at the Stadium or here at Grandma’s. Matter of fact today I just caught the Yanks on her fuzzy Sylvania with a Coke and big bag of cheese twists and was happy as a newborn. The game was a cool breeze for us, so I’ll brake on the details this time, but there was some kind of evil in the air today ’cause almost every park around had a bloodbath to deal with. Check it:

CARDS 11-14-1, at EXPOS 1-6-1
When the lefty-clubbing Expos can’t score against Tom Underwood, they got problems. Simmons and Templeton with three hits apiece, while Cards’ long relief man Butch Metzger has now given up one stinkin’ earned run in almost 35 innings pitched.

W-Carroll L-Stanhouse HRS: Freed, Simmons GWRBI-Freed

ASTROS 12-16-1, at PHILLIES 2-10-1
Worst starter in the league Larry Christenson is torched for a Cliff Johnson 2-run blast and Watson grand slam in the first three innings before he’s sent to bed. I swear, if Larry was pitching and Mike Schmidt was hitting, the Phils might be in first place by now. Three whiffs and a double play at the plate for Big Mike today, and yet another error in the field.

W-Richard L-Christenson HRS: Johnson, Watson, Ferguson GWRBI-Johnson

AT PIRATES 6-11-0, CUBS 0-4-1
The narrow Cub victory yesterday turns out to be a mirage. Bad Luck Bill Bonham gives up the game on five Buc runs in the 2nd, without one hit roll landing on his card. That’s tough to do.

W-Candelaria L-Bonham GWRBI-Taveras

DODGERS 5-11-0, at REDS 2-9-1
Gritty Hooton outing puts L.A. back on track. Garvey’s in a major slump, though(.074 with two RBIs in June, and 5 for his last 46) which he better shake out of soon.

W-Hooton L-Billingham SV-Hough

at RED SOX 25-25-0, WHITE SOX 8-14-3
I guess you can say Boston is hot. That’s 67 runs scored and 16 homers in their last six games. Remember when Jim Rice didn’t have an RBI for the first two weeks of the season? Well, he now has 50. Chicago actually scores four runs in the 1st in this one before they get disemboweled.

W-Cleveland L-Knapp HRS: Garr, Downing, Rice-2 (with nine RBIS), Evans, Hobson GWRBI-Carbo

at YANKEES 6-6-3, RANGERS 0-3-0
Figueroa and Perry duel it off and are now both 7-2. Reggie with a bases-clearing triple to ice the proceedings.

W-Figueroa L-Perry GWRBI-Rivers

ROYALS 12-19-0, at ORIOLES 0-3-0
Rudy May is drawn and quartered in front of the home folks. Over half the K.C. hits are for extra bases, as they keep pace with the Red Sox. Highlight of the game is when Drago hits Mayberry with a pitch after the brother hits two straight homers and Big John charges the mound, decks him, and gets suspended for three games. It shouldn’t mean much, because Wathan (homer, double and single today) can spell him nice.

W-Colborn L-R. May HRS: Otis, Wathan, Mayberry-2 GWRBI-Otis

TWINS 6-10-0, at INDIANS 1-9-1
New Carew streak up to four, Gary Serum relieves and actually doesn’t suck, and poor Jim Bibby is smacked silly as the Tribe home record drops to 9-20.

W-Zahn L-Bibby SV-Serum HRS: Bostock GWRBI-Chiles

American League through Saturday, June 7

Boston 32 20 .615
Kansas City 30 23 .566 2.5
Baltimore 28 24 .538 4
New York 27 24 .529 4.5
Texas 28 26 .519 5
Minnesota 23 29 .442 9
Chicago 21 30 .412 10.5
Cleveland 20 33 .377 12.5

National League through Saturday, June 7

Pittsburgh 33 23 .589
St. Louis 31 23 .574 1
Philadelphia 28 25 .528 3.5
Los Angeles 27 25 .519 4
Cincinnati 28 26 .519 4
Houston 26 29 .473 6.5
Montreal 21 31 .404 10
Chicago 21 33 .389 11

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “National Massacre Day

  1. “Disemboweled!” Love it!

    • The real ’77 Sox bashed 33 homers in 10 games that June (I witnessed ten of them in two days), so this is not out of line. Hopefully they’ll cool down when they hit the road again to the caverns in KC, Chicago, Baltimore and New York, because my hands are starting to burn from handling the dice.

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